Revitalized

I am feeling revitalized.

A New Beginning

It feels as if this week has been a new beginning for me. I feel much less depressed, much less stressed; I can see what life ought to feel like the majority of the time. Granted, Life (tm) will never be all sunshine and roses; it should feel good and tolerable most of the time. I notice when I'm feeling lower it becomes harder to do the things I normally enjoy doing. For example, when I'm depressed, it's easier and easier to say 'no' to going to the gym, 'no' to doing things with friends, 'no' to going outside. Insidious a creature it is. It makes vices easier too. Depression makes it very tempting to blunt the sharp edges of the mind that are oft used against our psyches and our hearts with alcohol or TV or video games. It's bad for the spiritual state, too; being of sullied soul makes depression worse and better choices harder.

I suppose that these would all matter were depression or depressive symptoms a choice rather than something inflicted upon ourselves from a seemingly cruel force. Yet we cannot be so self-centred! Depression is a wholly self-centred disease (at least right until the end). Is it? Or perhaps only for those who are isolated. Theoretically it could cause to suffer those who depend on those who suffer from it.

Musings. It is good to muse; such a sombre topic has not yet brought me down.

Less Than Stellar

I cannot say what has changed. It could be that work is less stressful (for the hiring deluge they put us into is over), it could be that I am finally taking care of myself, it could be that I am alive yet again, it could be anything. Regardless, I'm not one to look a gift-horse in the mouth (too much, anyways).

More About Dumbphones

I seem to recall that my penultimate post (before my extended leave-of-absence) was regarding smartphones and dumbphones. I was set on running an experiment or something where I compare thoughtfully life with or without a smartphone.

While it is a noble idea (and I will do that one soon enough) I changed my path.

I ended up that whole month-ish on a smart phone. I just plum forgot that I was supposed to be carefully weighing the pros and contras of the phone. I have the itch, yet again, to be happier and to be of clearer mind. So I am restarting the journey. I am getting a VOIP phone in the house so I can avoid the "POOP" situation in which my family failed to reach me. I resolve (today) to push forth. I will dumb the phone the day the VOIP stuff comes.

I would like to stick with it for a month at least, just like Cal Newport recommends. Perhaps for two months. Not sure yet.

Puritanism

If the Puritans were alive today, I might be one (religious connotation aside). Rather, even, I would be a Pharisee. Or that's how I feel sometimes. I am too strict on myself, too strict on others. But I am naturally a perfectionist. Why would I do something that is objectively less perfect than something else?

Killing Ourselves with Pleasure.

I read Huxley's Brave New World the other day. It was sublime. It would be redundant to echo the many critics who have called it prophetic, but I will do so anyways.

It was simply prophetic.

It makes me miss being in high school or university where I could melt a book and simmer in its intellectual soup.

Perhaps not high school. Yeugh.

Look forward to hearing more about it.

Capsule and Website Update

I will be reorganizing the home page sometime. What better use of time does a twenty-something have than to organize digital files? All sarcasm aside, I will probably fix it sometime, when I get the chance. Which may be tomorrow or next year. Life is too unpredictable sometimes.