7 December 2025
I stand at a bifurication in my life. I will spare the details, but to summarize, I am faced with the choice that most people are faced with at the end of high school: to continue to be educated or to commit fully to the workforce. I have been out of high school plenty long, but I am only slightly more wise and have a slightly firmer idea of what I want to do. Do I devote myself to graduate school in a program that is essentially this gemlog/blog? Or do I fully commit myself to the craft of rhetoric?
The grad programs I am looking at are in the field of Science, Technology and Society (STS) and related fields. It is a passion of mine; to push the world into the right future is a goal of personal desire. It's not my place to change the world by force or storm, but I have not been given this intelligence and wit to stand idly by while we march headlong to dystopia. If we are destined to be slaves to Big Tech, then it, likewise, is my destiny to be the voice crying out in the wilderness against them.
How apropos for the second Sunday of Advent.
The primary means to the end of changing the world's course, to me, is writing. How can it be that I was not meant to write? I believe it wrong to not share one's gifts and talents with the world. Academia is supposed to be fertile ground for writing, but it is equally mired with other administrivia.
When one is paralzyed by indecision, one makes a choice. I wish I had more time to think about these things.
The opportunity cost of anything seems monumental compared to the benefits of action. Yet the opportunity costs of inaction are equal, if not greater; how paradoxical is action and inaction!
Why is it so hard to decide?
There is a certain bliss we find when we do not decide. For when we have not decided, we cannot decide wrongly. And perhaps I am more afraid of being wrong than of deciding.
It was easier when we had not the need to decide for ourselves. When Mother or Father decided where we would go, or what we would do. That's been un-outsorced to us, now.
Modern man is told that he is the sole determiner of whomever and whatever he shall be.
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